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Mon, Jan. 16th, 2006, 02:41 pm
death you are my bitch lover...

Feeling better tody.. just regreting how i wasted a fucking year.. letting myself believe i could eat any fucking thing... its okay tho.. im so effing pissed and frustrated over the stupid immature shit. Its okay tho.. i know how to cope :o)
Just 10 - 15lbs... ill be okay...

You're just pissed because im finaly happy... home, and without you....



stupid lies, bullshit, and being used

:puke:

Mon, Jan. 16th, 2006, 04:39 am
KeRpLuNk :dOiNk: PlOp :BoOm: BaNg :DiNg: BiNg

* Im so glad i can finally move on and put everything that happened in Pittsburgh behind me. The only good thing that came out of it was my awesome roomies and Tony. Im so stupid for wasting year on him. All he did was stir up my shit, make me get fat, and make me hate myself even more. I'm soo glad im away from it all. I'm so sorry for the stupid shit i put everybody through because of him. Fucking eww i was so dumb and stupid becuase of the retarded thought of me being in love. Fuck that! it feels like ive pushed everybody away because of him.... How could i be so stupid. I could have serisouly screwed up my life. Everytime i think about it.. all of it.. i want to throw up.. soooo dissapointed in myself.. i promised myself i'd never do that.... And if my friends didnt approve, why did it take this long for them to say? That i dont understand.. i always told them i want their honest opinion, and that it mattered to me...

* Hopefully this time everything will go okay... No more hurt PWEASE :o(

* lost 3 lbs :o)





Lost & broken..hopeless & lonely.Smiling on the outside hurt beneath my skin.My eyes are fading, My soul is bleeding.I'll try to make it seem okay,but my faith is wearing thin.So help me heal these wounds,they've been open for way too long..Help me fill this soul even though this is not ur fault -Good Charlotte

Sat, Jan. 7th, 2006, 02:32 pm

If you no longer care....Why read my stuff and comment on it? Im no longer your problem to deal with anymore.....be glad..

Fri, Jan. 6th, 2006, 04:22 pm
FUCK

i fucking hate living here.. nothing i ever do is good enough for anybody.. i wanna go smack my head off the fucking wall until i pass out and dont have to deal with any of this stupid shit anymore... FUCKKKKKK im so frustrated that i dont know what the fuck to do with myself.. i wish i woulda stayed in pgh.. i hate FUCKING being here .. hate it hate it hate it... FUCKING DIE

Wed, Jan. 4th, 2006, 03:52 am
Lost... Broken... Confused

TODAY:

* My girls and i all hung out like old times :o) It felt GREAT! im soo excited!! i hope everything can go back to the way they were. People at home are driving me absolutly crazy again.. I really dont know how to react or what to do with myself.

* I come to realize that i was really really stupid for ever thinking/Believing thing would work out between the two of us.. We live to far apart... Foolish me..


* I miss my Tony Leppo i talked to him today! horray! <3

* I am so happy in ways.. but theres still a part of me missing...

* Im sick of mia... i miss ana... and diet pills are good :O) i fit a 4 or 5 :O)

* Im addicted to the OC :o) i want a Ryan Atwood!

Sat, Dec. 17th, 2005, 05:58 pm

The more i sleep... the less i think of you....

Sat, Dec. 17th, 2005, 01:06 pm

I just woke up like 30min ago.. i ate some oatmeal.. i feel fat so i think i may have to go puke it all back up lol.. i ate a diet pill yesterday.. the kind that made me lose all that weight.. i kinda liked it.. being all cracked out and stuff.. but on the other hand it was scary because i thought it would have eventually lead to an anxiety attack...

I duno what to do anymore.. sit around and wait or move on.. anymore i dont fucking care.. just eat my pills and be alone, miserable, and by myself waisting away into nothing.. i hate this stupid life.. i just wanna be happy again and it seems like the only way is to forget and focus on losing 30lbs.. hmm.. :cry: I HATE THIS.. why did i ever have to move to PGH? why didnt i just stay here and be miserable.. because once i was happy and i came back to the same old stuff...... cant take this life anymore...


FUCK...

Sun, Dec. 4th, 2005, 02:05 pm

ABOUT YOU
Your full name:: StaceyLynn
Age:: 20
Height:: about 5'7ish
Natural hair colour:: Blonde
Eye colour:: blue/green
Number of siblings:: 0
Glasses/contacts?:: I have both but i wear my contacts all the time
Piercings:: ears, belly, and tounge
Tattoos:: none
Braces?:: i Had them before!

FAVOURITE
Colour:: Purple
Band:: Rascal Flatts & Simple Plan
Song:: welcome to my life... *ALL TIME FAVORITE*
Stuffed animal:: Not sure
Video game:: Super Mario Karts
TV show:: Either Friends or the OC
Movie::Armageddon def!
Book:: i really dont read that much anymore..
Food:: chicken Parm!! yumm AJ!
Game on a cell phone:: Snake
CD cover:: i dont know
Flower:: i hate flowers
Scent:: Ralph Lauren or Heavenly from VS
Animal:: Doggies
Comic book:: I don't read comics
Cereal:: Hmm... im not sure i love cereal
Website:: Live Journal
Cartoon:: Tom & Jerry


DO YOU
Play an instrument?:: Clarinet & Piano
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?:: No
Like to sing?:: indeed i do, but not very well lol
Have a job?:: Interning
Have a cell phone?:: Yuppers i broke it tho cuz i was pissed..
Like to play sports?:: Occasionally.. i loveee soccer!!
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?:: Yesum
Have a crush on someone?:: ?
Live somewhere NOT in the united states?:: nope
Have more than 5 TVs in your house?:: no 4
Have any special talents/skills?:: possibly
Excercise daily?:: no im fat
Like school?:: Nope, I miss HS! :o)


CAN YOU
Sing the alphabet backwards?:: lol nooo
Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?:: never tried it
Speak any other languages?:: lil spanish
Go a day without food?:: yes
Stay up for more than 24 hours?:: yes
Read music, not just tabs?:: yes
Roll your tongue?:: No
Eat a whole pizza?:: prolly, im fat i can accomplish great things


HAVE YOU EVER
Snuck out of the house?:: yes
Cried to get out of trouble?:: yes
Gotten lost in your city?::yes
Seen a shooting star?:: yes have, several
Been to any other countries besides the united states?:: No
Had a serious surgery?:: no.. well if impacted wisdom teeth count lol
Stolen something important to someone else?:: nope
Solved a rubiks cube?:: lol, yes! i peeled the stickers off
Gone out in public in your pajamas?:: indeed i have.
Cried over a girl?:: yes.. my freinds
Cried over a boy?:: haha tons of times
Kissed a random stranger?:: dont think so
Hugged a random stranger?:: yeah
Been in a fist fight?:: yes
Been arrested?:: nope
Done drugs?:: ive done duster but its legal..
Had alcohol?:: yesssss :o) Alcohol is my friend
Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?:: lol no but have with soda
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?:: yeah lol horray for the dorms!!
Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?:: nope
Swore at your parents?:: yes my dad has heard the F bomb a few times
Been to warped tour?:: no
Kicked a guy where it hurts?:: no cant say that i have
Been in love?:: yeah... :*(
Been close to love?:: thats a gay question.. either you are or arent
Been to a casino?:: no
Ran over an animal and killed it?:: yes :o(
Broken a bone?:: never
Gotten stitches?:: yes
Had a waterballoon fight in winter?:: no, just a water battle lol
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?:: ewww puke.. have drank a gallon of green tea in an hour tho..
Made homemade muffins?:: yeah haha
Bitten someone?:: yeah :o)
Been to disneyland/disneyworld?:: nope
More than 5 times?:: no
Been to niagra falls?:: Nope
Burped in someones face?:: Uh huh lol
Gotten the chicken pox?:: yeah


WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU
Brushed your teeth:: like 20 min ago
Went to the bathroom:: like 2 horus ago
Saw a movie in theaters:: 2 weeks ago
Read a book:: not sure...
Had a snow day:: lol not in a LOOONNNGGG time
Had a party:: havent had 1 for a while
Had a slumber party:: :o) i miss my girls
Made fun of someone:: i dont remember..
Tripped in front of someone:: its been awhile lol
Went to the grocery store:: like 8 days ago
Got sick:: :O) foir me its a hobby
Cursed:: like 5min ago


PICK ONE
Fruit/vegetables:: Veggies
Black/white:: white
Lights on/lights off:: On! no BM!!
TV/movie:: movie
Car/truck:: trucks
Body spray/lotion::Lotion
Cash/check:: Cash
Pillows/blankets::Blankets
Headache/stomach ache:: Tummy ache
Paint/charcoal:: paint!
Chinese food/mexican food:: PUKE neither
Summer/winter:: Imma Summer girl :o)
Snow/rain:: Snow
Fog/misty:: misty
Rock/rap:: rock
Meat/vegetarian:: Vegetarian
Boy/girl:: boy
Chocolate/vanilla:: vanilla
Sprinkles/icing:: Sprinkles.. icing is gross
Cake/pie:: pie
French toast/french fries:: PANCAKES
Strawberries/blueberries:: Strawberries
Ocean/swimming pool:: ocean :o)
Hugs/kisses:: depends on who its from
Cookies/muffins:: Cookies
Wallet/pocket:: pocket
Window/door:: window
Emo/goth:: Emo
Pink/purple:: purple
Cat/dog:: dog
Long sleeve/short sleeve:: i enjoy long sleves or a tank top
Pants/shorts:: shorts
Winter break/spring break:: spring
Spring/autumn:: Autumn
Clouds/clear sky:: clear sky
Moon/mars:: Moon


FRIENDSHIP
How many friends do you have?:: some
What are their names?:: too many to name
Do you have a best friend?:: yupp that person shall remain unnamed..
Have you ever liked one of your friends?:: yes. Dont ever date ur best friend of the opposite sex! nothing good can come from it!
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?:: ummm guy friends... girls are nasty
Have you ever lost a friend?:: indeed
Have you ever gone to an amusement park with a friend?:: uh, yeah
Whats an inside joke between you and a friend?:: too many...tons with shell n AJ
Have you ever gotten in a big arguement with a friend?:: yesum
Whats the nicest thing youve ever done for a friend?:: Im not sure lol..
Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?:: rachie took me to buy tampons at 2am! and listen to me when i cry over stupid stuff
Do you miss any of your old friends?:: Sometimes...
What friend have you known the longest?:: Farren
Do you regret anything youve done to a friend?:: yes
If so, what is it?:: Fought over gay meaningless things
How often do you spend time with your friends?:: as much as i can!
Do any of your friends drive?:: All but 1
Has a friend of yours ever died?:: no, a close call tho
Whats the dumbest thing youve done with a friend?:: went camping with marybeth and we got mud and smeared it all over our bodies! and log cannoeing!!!
What do you think your friends think of you?:: i dont know... hopefully good things.. i tend to be an asshole.

LOVE AND ALL THAT CRAP
Have you ever been in love?:: yeah
If you have, with who?:: J.J.
Are you single?:: nope
Are you in a relationship?::sure!
If so, for how long?:: not long
Do you believe there is someone for everyone?:: indeed.. i believe you are compatable with numerous people, but only have 1 soulmate. Finding the person is the trick tho!
What is your idea of the best?:: Hmm...JOsh Hartnett in pearl harbor or Ben!
What was your first kiss like?:: gross..he drooled on me! ewww
How old were you when you got your first kiss?::it was a good few years ago lol
Do you think love is a load of shit?:: i do tend to think that often... its another word for REGRET!!
Whats the best experience you've ever had with the opposite sex?:: just being able to be me around him :o) the millions of laughs n of course the kisses :o) ....but fuck it all..
If you are single, have you had any boyfriends/girlfriends before?::
Have you ever been dumped?::lol actually, not that i recall.. ive always been the dumper
Have you ever dumped someone?:: indeed i have
Whats the most sexual thing youve done with the opposite sex?:: SSIIICCCKKK....um i prefer not go there lol...EVER

WORD ASSOCIATION
Slippers:: Feets
Hat:: head
Hard:: PENIS!
Free:: parking...
Space:: stars
Taste:: tongue
Good charlotte:: good music
Red:: blood
Deep:: thoughts
Heart:: broken
Cord:: phone
Cheese:: mouse
Rain:: drops
Work:: law
Pedal:: jeep
Head:: hair
Bed:: ZzZzZz
Fluff:: poof!
Hardcore:: PORN!
Race:: car
Knife:: Spork
Jump:: high


I....
am:: hurt
want:: to get over it
need:: my girls
crave:: diet pills!
love:: you
hate:: this stupid life
did:: want everything to be okay
feel:: like crap
miss:: you
am annoyed by:: these feelings
would rather:: be sleeping
am tired of:: this stupid life
will always:: be fat

SILLY STUFF
What is your favourite genre of music?:: i like alot
What time is it now?:: 2 30
What day is it?::Sunday
Whens the last time you called someone?:: today
How much money do you have right now?:: enough
Are you hungry?:: No food is bad for me
Whatcha doin?:: filling out this amazingly anoyingly everlasting survey....
Do you like parades?:: yeah theyre fun to be in,,,
Do you like the moon?:: depends on what moon we're taking about
What are you going to do when youre done with this?:: go get warm
Isnt cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?:: lol hmmm yes it has a nice tune!
If you could have any magical power what would it be?:: be invisible
Have you ever had a picnic?:: yupp...
Did you ever have one of those skip-its when you were young?:: nope
What about sock em boppers?:: Hulk hands are better *Farren*
Are you wearing any socks right now?:: indeed i am! theyve got mooo mooo cows on em


DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
funny?:: sumtimes
pretty?:: no
sarcastic?:: yeah
lazy?:: oh yeah
hyper?:: yes
friendly?:: yes
evil?:: nah
smart?:: in some ways....
strong?:: emotionaly no... physically.. somewhat
talented?:: sure
dorky?:: haha oh yeah


ASSOCIATE THESE WORDS WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW (or dont know)
high:: farren
skip:: to my lou... woo hoo i gotta pe! so me!
dance:: LAMMYKIN
lonely:: me
pen:: Jenny
flower:: SUNFLOWER SARAH *LMFAO*
window:: dustin
psycho:: Hammel-toe
brain freeze:: AMBERJONES
orange:: DHANE-D-LION
sassy:: i don tknow
jelly:: Krystal


FOR OR AGAINST
suicide:: hell is bad
love:: for
drunk drivers:: against
airplanes:: against
war:: for
canada:: dont care
united states:: for
rock music:: for
gay marriage::against
school:: for
surveys:: both lol
parents:: for
cars:: for
killing:: against
britney spears:: dont care
coffee:: for
pants:: for


WOULD YOU EVER
Sky dive?::no afraid of heights
Play strip poker?:: Sure
Run away?:: Indeed
Curse at a teacher?::indeed
Not take a shower for a week?:: haha no sick
Ask someone out?:: yeah
Lie to someone to make them think better of you?:: no, once they found out the truth it would only make u look worse.
Visit a foreign country for more than a month?:: no thanks i like the US
Go scuba diving?:: no ill drown
Write a book?:: no lol
Become a rockstar?:: nope
Have casual sex?:: indeed! no no jk jk


LAST QUESTIONS
What shampoo do you use?:: i have a fetish.... i have lots i change frequently
Whens the last time you did something sexual with the opposite sex?::no
What kind of computer do you have?:: HP
What grade are you in?:: 13th
Do you like to throw popcorn at people in the movies?:: never tried it..
Or just make out?:: i have PDA phobia!
How many posters do you have in your room?:: a few
How many cds do you have?:: numerous amounts
What time is it now?:: 2 40

Sun, Dec. 4th, 2005, 12:38 am
Love is another word for regret *NFG*

Cuz its the last time
I ever want to see you
It's the last time
I ever want to hear you
It's the last time
I'm getting out of this for good
And it's the last time
If at all you taught me anything
You taught me pain and hurt
Now can you tell me
Do you ever feel guilt
Hidden pain that you built
Inside of your heart
Cuz its the last time
I ever want to see you
It's the last time
I ever want to hear you
It's the last time
I'm getting out of this for good
And it's the last time
When I think all the thoughts come to my head
Of the last words that you said
They're stuck inside of me
Then I say this wont happen to me again
Three months later you're my friend
And its happening again
Go
I will not cry
Alone as I lye
I said what about our past
You said 'stick it up your ass'
She shut the door with those words said
Were you thinking of me
Last time you were in bed yeah
It's the last time
It's the last time
Cuz its the last time
I ever want to see you
It's the last time
I ever want to hear you
It's the last time
I'm getting out of this for good
And it's the last time

Fri, Dec. 2nd, 2005, 11:25 pm
:o(

So I'll see you around
You'll hear me piss and moan and complain

I coulda guessed the day would come
That you would consider me scum
The day is here, all the signs were there
And I always prayed that you would stay
But instead you walked away
The feeling's gone, the pain dwells on

Long days long nights
The feelings just not right
I pick up a pen and pad and I start to write
Thinking about our last fight
It was a cold and rainy night

I coulda guessed the day would come
That you would consider me scum
The day is here, all the signs were there
And I always prayed that you would stay
But instead you walked away
The feeling's gone, the pain dwells on and on and on
The pain dwells on and on

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